WHY I SMILE!

   It is just so easy for you to put a smile on my face.  I can be having the worst day ever in the history of worst days and all it'll take is one kiss on the cheek from you.  You are the reason I get up and go to work even when I am not physically able to.  If I got it you got it! And if I don't have it in my pocession you best believe I'm gonna break my back to get it if you are in need.



My beautiful baby boy!  You are mama's heart! I never knew what love really was until you came into
my life!  You are a gift from God inwhich I know for a fact I do not deserve.  Your innocense, kindness and all around happy energy amazes me!  So precious and beautiful you are!



You're only 4 years old yet you teach me so much everday! You keep mama in her place all without having to yell at me, tell me off or even saying a word for that matter.  You have the most crazy, most wonderful laugh I have ever heard in my life.  I know that every parent thinks that their child is special in a phenomenal way, but dang!!!  I honestly believe this child was sent here to save my
life!!!!!!!!!!!



 We both were not supposed to make it!!!. 26 weeks pregnant with ECLAMPISA. If you don't know what that is look it up!  The Dr. told me I wasn't going to make it unless he was taken immediately. Dr.s said there was a slim chance that he would survive.  Everyday I went to that NICU and watched you truggle, fighting to stay in a place in which you knew nothing about and were not prepaired to be.



They said, " Ms. Cummings, there is a good chance he will have extreme delays if he does survive."  "He has a brain bleed, his lungs are not fully developed and he has a low birth weight of 1 lb 5 ounces."



 Now please tel me how a person can have hope after hearing this.  The only actual logical explanation is divine intervention.  I really believe my father became his guardian angle that day.  Yes in deed!!!!!   God sent him on a mission to protect & take care of his grandbaby!!! Thank u daddy, R.I.P!!!



                          Now here you are, baby boy,  just as healthy as you wanna be.



               Yes!!! I do believe that I am able to smile so easily because of this little miracle.

HAPPY FOR NO REASON!

         I refuse to let the little things in life bother me anymore.
         I refuse to let the events in which I cannot change bother me anymore.
         I refuse to give into spontaneous anger & rage.

         I just refuse!!!!!

         I constantly pray & ask God to give me grace & keep me humble.
         I asked of him just the other day if he would control my tongue & help me to watch
         what comes out of my mouth.
         I find my self looking up to the skies and talking to myself quite often these days!
         Am I really talking to God?

         If so, I hope he is listening!

         I sometimes dream of being rich so that I can give money away!!!
         Is it just me or does everyone think this way?
         I often wonder if I am too nice & if I will ever get tired of wanting to always do
         the right thing.

         Do nice guys always finish last? It sure does seem that way sometimes!

         I am not exactly where I want to be in my life right now.
         I have so many unresolved issues.
         I am confused about a lot of things.
         The paint on my car is peeling and I just lost my grandfather!

         I am happy as hell right now & I don't know why!

         I don't have a dollar to my name at this point in time yet,,,,,,,,,
        
         I am completely & without a doubt glowing with happiness!